A Womans Release :: Recent Entries

Title:	I need to write my thoughts down, so i can see what it is..i need to babble
Date:	2009-05-03 @ 17:34
Security:	public
Music:	ps2 games
Mood:	disappointed

I have this image in my head of my perfect master /slave relationship..where i am their main slave, num 1...and all the others will be lower than me. (not to be egotistical, but i know how far i can go, and not many others will, so i deserve first.) im a confident and strong sub, yes yes ..im rare. and to have the love of master, his heart, and all others will get gentle tidings of love. My new master, which i have found i dont think has the same ideas as i. He said he does, but i truly dont think so. I havent seen him in over a month, and breifly get texts from him or notes. he has other slaves, but he sez their out of state, which is fine. But im finding my master has other women, many other women, that he just plays with. he just fucks them. Hes got me so confused....
he tells me he loves me, but i barely see him, or hear from him...
he tells me im perfect, but then he goes off and finds other to play with...
ive only had one session, and its been since November.
tells me im his Queen, but then expects me to wait and watch for him...
i dont think this is the proper way of a healthy master/sub relationship..i know im writing as im clueless, im not, i see the signs, but im writing to you, and for me to see it all in front of me..
ive always thought a good heathy master/sub relationship is shared, with everything!!! i mean to have a sub give to you, what they do, they have to have trust first and foremost...right?? then the master, out of love and respect, gives guidance and the proper attention. am i wrong to think this way?
im going to leave my master...i dont think he cares for me the way he should...cuz for me to give him my skin and soul, and all the pleasures in between...he should be there for me...
if he wanted to meet new ladies i thought he should at least tell about them first before persuing it further...my last master did that. showed me the loyalty, so i could give him mine in return.
REDSONYA has a wonderful relationship...i know it can be achieved..i just wish i could achieve it...
shame to...this master and i had lots of potential for many wonderful stories to post.
hes a busy man, i know this. but if hes got time to find new ladies, he should make time to care for the ones hes already got...i dont have problems with him sleeping with his slaves, i have problems with him sleeping with other women, and not to include me in any of it.
am i wrong? right? please be kind and tell me honestly what you think....i would love to hear your opinion.
if im right, i will go out and from my previous masters advice meet up with the local bdsm group and see what i can find their...you havent heard the last from me and my tales...ill be back...

thanks again, and please comment to me on what you think...i know youd understand.
love to all of you...enjoy

:: +Memory :: Share :: 6 replies :: Reply

Title:	TO ALL MY FRIENDS!!!!
Date:	2009-04-11 @ 20:37
Security:	public
Music:	NONE
Mood:	drained

HAPPY EASTER TO ALL YOU WONDERFUL FRISKY BUNNIES OUT THERE!!! ENJOY YOUR DAY!!!!

LOVE !!!! LOVE !!!! LOVE !!!! ENJOY!!! MUAH!!!

:: +Memory :: Share :: Reply

Title:	Moving Forward....EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER!!!!!
Date:	2009-04-09 @ 23:40
Security:	public
Music:	twilight movie..
Mood:	anxious

Well tomorrow,(good friday) i go and visit with a plastic surgeon to see if i qualify for a tummy tuck....I have wanted one since way before i started with the diet. Since ive plateaued, and the nurse i spoke to sed i was showing some qualifications, im gonna see if it can.

These past few days has been a emotional roller coaster ride for me and anyone whos been near me. Wish i didnt quit smoking when i did!!! lol Some moments tell me yea finally ive gotten here!! the possibilities, and the results!!! up and soaring...then BAM!!!!! im thinking how this procedure is going to be very extreme!!! ive heard that this surgery practically cuts me in half!!!! Ill be out for like 3 months, and the kids...oh god...cant even think about that yet.!!!!! lol
I will go the drs tomorrow, and see what the future will hold.... i hope i can get some rest tonight, cuz im gonna need it!!!!

*** Master hasnt been to pleased with me, i told him i didnt want him around for the surgery...cuz who wants to be hanging around for nearly 3 months if they dont have to....right?? he tells me he wont leave his queen, and that what you do for the ones you love...Ive never had anyone tell me that before...i hope he does...im always skeptical of peoples traits...their first instinct will always kick in at the last minute and change your view forever....

Master also has informed me of him being with another of his subs tonight...at first it took me...i was way off...wasnt sure if it was from what im going through(lousey timing ..i think) but also too, ive never been in a relationship like this...having getting used to him being with his others fucks me up!!! i dont mind multiples...but i want to be a part of it!!! is that so wrong!!!! its not so bad tonight, knowing hes with her...maybe cuz im so focused on the appt tomorrow...will it get better?? or am i acting so vanilla i cant think right at all? i dont know.......anybody got any words of advice?? im trying to follow my heart, and master and i talk all the time....and hes knows what im going through...shit i dont know...maybe im thinking to much..and not appreciating the fact that tomorrow....one of my long time dreams might come true.....

MAN WHAT A FUCKED UP WEEK IVE HAD!!!!!!! PLUS I HAVENT SEEN MASTER IN OVER TWO WEEKS....WHICH REALLY SUCKS!!!! I DONT KNOW........PLEASE HELP...LOL

thanks ....enjoy!!!! muah...........

:: +Memory :: Share :: 6 replies :: Reply

Title:	Saturday night with master!!!
Date:	2009-03-30 @ 20:24
Security:	public
Music:	kids movie in other room
Mood:	happy

I got off work at nine, and he texted me telling me he was already on his way, great!! I flew home to shower, and shave the pussy...lol told him the door was unlocked, and when i got to the point of drying my hair i turned around and he was there, watching me. mmmm I quickly gave him a kiss. Saw he was unshaven, (very sexy look on him) hes been sick the past week so im figuring he took a break. I was in my pink satiny robe, and he kept undoing it and wrapping his arms around me or fondling my breasts. he was acting different, i asked him if he was ok...and he said just getting over the cold he had...my bad..oops. We havent seen each other since that last wednesday, about ten days, so we were holding and catching up on the kisses..mmmmm

I asked him what he wanted to do tonight, and he said we could go out tonight if i wanted to. I told him i didnt care, wasnt going to drink or anything major since i had to work in the morning. so we decided to save the gas and stay home. hehehehe..so we sat on the couch and talked a bit, held each other, and made out some more. and as the heat built he began. He told me to stand up in the middle of the room, and undid my robe, he walked behind me and removed my robe. He walked around me sliding his hand around my waist and told me to put my hands behind my back. He came to face me, placed one of my tits in his hand, and began to slap it hard. then went to the other tit and did the same thing, slapping each one hard, my tits immediatly got red and colorful...he rubbed them, quite pleased by the way they looked.

then he got his case, which i didnt see..and he pulled out a nylon leg restraint...smiling..he told me its time for my first session!! i was geeked!!! all i said was yes sir!!!! he told me to turn around, and asked me if i could touch the floor with my hands, (remember im not a small woman, got a belly still) and i did. as i was in this position, he told me to spread my legs wider, and he attached the harness to my legs...that felt cool...it got me wetter than i was. lol...he asked me if i was comfortable and i could stay that way, i told him my legs were tight cuz i didnt stretch for it first. he got my stool and told me to place my hands on here and if it felt better. it did, so this was my position i stayed in....

Then he went to his case and brought out his flogger, and placed it on the stool in front of me...sliding his hands over my back and ass, he slapped my ass a few times to warm me up ...lol then he got the flogger from the stool and slid it over my skin. Then i felt the first hit...right on my ass!!! I was so pumped about finally getting to experience my first session, I really didnt feel the hit. But as he continued, i got it!!!! lol Hed hit the top part of my ass, then hed go low, then hed go to my shoulders, and then lower there, stopping when he heard me react, if i got loud hed stop and come to face me, got down on the floor and asked me if i was ok. He asked me what my safe word was, and i told him it. Then he came back up slid the flogger over my skin again and went again over my skin. the same areas, thighs, ass, and shoulders. I was getting the feel of it harder, and my sounds were louder. Again, he stopped, came to face me, and pulled my hair back and asked me if i was ok. this time it took me a minute to respond, and he leaned in and told me he loved me...and kissed me hard. That brought me back. Asked me if i was wet...i said yes sir...he let go of my hair and i felt his hands over my pussy for the first time since we started. "oh yes you are" was all i heard..he went and got something else, and then after the rustle of that, i felt more hits from the flogger. i was beginning to scream now, and then as he was rubbing my skin, i felt him playing with my pussy, and then i felt a toy go into my pussy..i was pretty deep into the pain when he did this , and when he did, it brought me back again.

As the new toy was in my wet pussy, he began to flog me again...more on my ass, and i was just breathing hard and moaning loud. Then he wiggled the toy and i moaned loud from the movement...and then again hed hit me, over and over he did this..i screamed out loud at the last of this, and he stopped, came to face me, got down on his knees and took off his glasses, lifted my hair and looked hard at me and asked if i was ok...i took a deep breath and said yes..still staring at me, he told me he loved me and was very proud of me. grabbed my hair hard , and kissed me again. He placed the flogger in front of me and went behind me, sliding his hands over my skin. " oh yes, this looks really good" he took off the harness, and told me to stand up. i did slowly, and turned around. He was smiling. He was pleased, which pleased me. He went and got his phone, and began to take pics of the session! i didnt think he would, i asked him if we could so i could share them with my first master. But he remembered!!!

After all the pics were done i put the robe back on, as he told me to, and told me to sit down. My adrelaline was flowing so high, he asked me what i was feeling, i told him i didnt know, it was all so much at that moment, but i did tell him i was happy. very happy!!! He asked if it was i thought it would be, and i said yes. Since ive done some self inflicting in the past. He told me i did well...and he was pleased by the way i handled myself, which made me even happier!!! we talked a bit , and when it came around to him telling me that doing that to me made him dripping wet, he immediatly dropped his pants and i went down on his cock faster than he expected!! i sucked his cock for a very long time.........mmmmmmmmm love sucking his cock!!! so tasty!!! then before he came i came off him and slid my tits over his cock, then he told me to lean back , and he stroked himself to come all over my reddened tittys...It was a very awesome feeling..i licked my titties, and he rubbed some into my skin. He fell back and told me he loved me again...i leaned over him, i was on my knees in front of him, and we stayed that way for a bit. Told me to come up to him so he could hold me closer, and we cuddled for a bit. He told me, this is a rarity to do...and i said to what.. to snuggle after a session? he said yes...usually we just end the session, and both go their ways. but he liked doing this. i was so happy inside, i couldve just busted!!!

After a bit of "pillow talk" he comes out and sez i want your pussy now. I said yes sir!!! he got down on his knees , and began to tease my pussy...fingering, and teasing, which he does so well, my pussy was so wet, you couldve heard my wetness for miles!!!! as he was fingering my clit, he began to taste me!!!MMMMMMMmmm i love when he eats me!!!!! and he was there for quite some time...i was so deep into his mouth, he got up and said he wanted to get deep inside my hot pussy, and wants me on the bed, so we went to the bedroom, and we made love and fucked hard!!!! He took every hole he could get his cock into, and then some!!!! It was an amazing night!!! we had a little bit of everything!!!! and so much fun in between!!!! LOL

i didnt want him to leave, but he said if he stayed we wouldve fucked more, and he wanted me to get my sleep..such a nice guy...dang it!!!! lol

i dont know if my first session was small, but to me it was better than i dreamed of!!! Im very very happy!!! now, that its days later, i feel very relaxed. And now i cant wait for more!!!! LOL

thanks for reading.......enjoy everything you touch...love ya!!!

:: +Memory :: Share :: 4 replies :: Reply

Title:	getting geeked...
Date:	2009-03-25 @ 19:19
Security:	public
Music:	Jonas Bros.
Mood:	bouncy

Saturday, master comes over....but that night i will have no kids...but unfortunatly i have to work that night and early the next morning....he mentioned something about me being sore....im not gonna get my hopes up, but that would be cool....if i got some of a hard session, he knows ive been waiting like a good pet...ive even been begging (when he sez i can) we will see .....hehehehehehee ***trying hard not to get hopes up**** ill see ya enjoy !!!!!

:: +Memory :: Share :: 4 replies :: Reply

Title:	visit from my new master....
Date:	2009-03-22 @ 22:52
Security:	public
Music:	elvis costello
Mood:	accomplished

Ive finally had the chance to update you on master....been doing some crazy stuff around here...

But , wednesday he came over to make sure i was alright (the stalker and everything) ** which by the way hasnt done anything as of today*** well we talked abit about how this came about and what i can and cant do anymore as his pet..i was on the floor in front of him, and he was stroking my hair, telling me he wasnt upset, just glad he was around to make sure i was ok. I did apologise to him for this, but he wasnt to upset about it, cuz i told him i was going to drop the ass anyways, and master knew of him for a bit anyways, he sensed he was weird. anyways...we cleared the air for that, and he grabbed my hair at the end of the conversation, and kissed me hard, look hard at me and didnt say a word , but i knew...i got to him. which is why i apologised in the first place. We talked abit about ladies that catch our eye, and what hes got planned for me. Since he doesnt switch, he understands i do on occassion, so hes gonna talk to some of his "friends" and see what we can do..(very geeked for that) tells me ill be able to have them for my bidding, when master is unavailable. Works for me!!!!! lol
well he had me move to the bed, as we were in my room..waiting for the kids to unwind, and he stood in front of me, and had me looking up a him...stoking my hair, over and over...(likes my hair) telling me about his day, and just general things, id bring something up , and wed talk about something else. This went on for about an hour..he was watching the clock since he knew i get up early in the morning..kissed me hard one more time, and told me to take my clothes off.

i did as he told me,he undressed, and he told me to get on my back on the bed...but as we were to get comfy and start, the dog barked and had me up and checking...when i came back, master found an old back scratcher made out of wood on my dresser...he started to smile big...so he told me back on to the bed...and i did, on my back as he said..well he gave me a quick kiss, then he got to the side of me and was seeing what he could do with that scratcher...my room was lit by candles, and so i saw a shadow of him"raking" my titty, and i started laughing...HARD...lol hes started laughing as well, but then he told me not too..ordered me, but i had to cover my mouth cuz the image was still in my head..well he got me to stop when he placed his fingers on my pussy and spread my lips, and flipped the scratcher around to where he smacked my clit with it...i jumped a bit each time...he hit me the first few times, and i came..(small one) and he was surprised ...told me not to come...till he said and not be so anxious to do so...lol

so he slapped my clit a few times with the scratcher, and he always stopped b4 i was to come...he would then use his fingers and slip into my wet pussy and move inside quite quickly...which stimulates my rim like crazy..and gets me to squirm...he doesnt pump me in and out, he goes side to side which just adds to everything...well he got me nice and soaked from doing that and slapping my clit on and off with both actions...he then ordered me to suck his cock , which i did with no hesitation...but he was back in to my clit, felt his fingers under my thigh, and probing my clit for the moisture he started...well he had me on my back again, and started to play with my clit again, using many fingers, stimulating my pussy and keeping me soaked..then i felt him use that wetness as lube for my ass, his fingers working my ass up, and then he took me, his huge cock went into my ass slowly of course but it went in all the way..mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...love that feeling!!!!! as his cock was deep in my ass, he was fingering my pussy all the way ...keeping me moist, i kept feeling his knuckles getting closer and closer to the rim of my clit and i thought for sure he was going to fist me as his cock was deep in my ass, i had my thighs wide and ready , and i told him i knew what he was going to do and to please do so sir...but then he pulled his fingers out and brought them up to me , and had me lick my pussy juices off his knuckles and hand..which i did willingly..(i do taste good..i think) then he asked how do i feel i said great..!! he said good, roll over im taking your ass...

Well i did, and he got to the side and got the scratcher again and began to slap my ass with it, over and over, trying to see how far i could go, (without waking the kids) he did this for about 5-7 minutes..omg...it felt soo good to feel the sting on my ass...been a very long time for that as well..well then i felt him spreading my ass as i felt his tongue taste my hole..mmmmmmmm that was sweet as well, he kept getting deeper and deeper with his actions... he crawled up behind my legs and spread me wide with his legs,then the next move was his cock...and he came into me slowly...but he did take my ass...and i took all of him..over 8 inches..and i heard him moan, and then he began...the sweetest ass fuck ive had in such a long time...slowly at first and then faster as we got more, but to both our surprises, my ass was very ready for him, no pain for me or nothing to hold him back. so he/we fucked like that for quite a long time, i kept begging for him to not stop...and he kept telling me i was his slut , and this ass was his...and it felt so amazing...he told me not to come, and i kept resisiting, and he just kept fucking me...it was mind blowing how well we fucked...i felt him slow up so then i surprised him by fucking his cock with my ass, for a bit..(not as long as he did, but i did ) and i heard him bulding off that, grabbed my hips and took over once more and we came together hard!!!!! he fell over me as kissed my shoulders, and he was surprised to feel me shaking...hahahahaha...gee...wonder why...

lying there, in his arms, feeling each other with the aftermath of the ass fucking...we knew...this was just the beginning of so many possibilities, and future pleasures...and i cant wait for each and everyone of them!!!! Im one very lucky slave, went from one wonderful cyber master, to another wonderful master...both unique in there own way..and both willing to give me a chance to explore from them. but of course i am a willing slave...lol

hopefully soon more to come!!!!! enjoy all..and thanks!!!

ps. i quit smoking 3 days ago!!!! yea for me!!!!

:: +Memory :: Share :: 5 replies :: Reply

Title:	Ive got a Question for you guys.....
Date:	2009-03-18 @ 20:38
Security:	public
Music:	Beyonce-single ladies
Mood:	apathetic

Since sunday, i have obtained a stalker. And it really sucks!! Had to block things, and close off sites where i think he might be. This is the second one, the first one wasnt so bad...tame actually to this guy....But man, why do they go to the extremes!??!

I told him i didint want to see him cuz of my new master, and he lost it, flipped, told me i would see him and i would fuck him!! we had been talking for a few months, before i left...and all it was phone mainly and most of that was phone sex...hes got info on me, which teaches me to not be so honest about myself...but as Kevin Klein sez in the movie "Silverado" "better to approach people as your friends, or noone as your friends" and i truly believe that....till now.

So...heres my question....what else do i need to do?? am i missing anything???

ive blocked everything but the phone...(only cuz i know how his temperament is)
i havent repoerted him as of yet cuz he hasnt followed thru on his threats ...yet...he wants to slime me over the inter net...i say go for it, but master no...wrong approach.. so i come to you true and honest souls...

please help...if im missing anything i would appreciate your input...

thank you, were all safe...and anything is appreciated....enjoy...xoxoxoxoxox

:: +Memory :: Share :: 4 replies :: Reply

Title:	SURPRISE!! IM BACK!!!
Date:	2009-03-17 @ 19:11
Security:	public
Music:	kids playing video games
Mood:	enthralled

First let me say.........HAPPY ST. PATRICKS DAY!!!!!!!!!!!

Well from what my site has told me, i havent posted anything in 22 weeks!! over 5 months!! wow!!! time does fly by. Many things have been happening in that time but i wont bore you...to much. I will try and keep each subject brief..

1. due to financial reasons, is the main reason i havent been on. Had to cut back on some extras to achieve other things. Like a better place to live for my kids and myself. Which i have, which is wonderful!! a cute lil 3 bedroom just enough for all of us to have our space and share at the same time.Im renting till i can better my credit to obtain a place of my own. Still want to move to Florida, but that is in the future...but as of now im very happy and content.

2. Still working 2 jobs, and mainly working everyday. Its been hard, but im used to it, and if i need to take a day off i take it from the weekend one since its not the better paying job. and thats the weekend one, so i would spend more time with my kids then. conteplated a third, and i still am, but thats something i wont rush into, since its hard enough to be away from the kids as it is.

3. Now for the big stuff.....I currently,(about a month ago) stepped down as being main slave for my past master, who lives in Fl. I havent had the chance to see him in the 2 years weve been together, and with that as our obstacle, it pulled us apart. He found another, and they met there, and it showed me i needed to move away from him so he could find more and probably better. I was very upset about it. But i found out that he havent loved me the way i did for him in a long time. he loved me but wasnt in love with me anymore. To me that hurt more than me moving on. I was his main slave, and for a master not to be honest was kinda like being just another man..( no insult intended)...but ive healed and moved on. At his request ironically..he told me a few months ago i should find somebody local. I shouldve known from that. ( big blonde moment) and i have...

Hes local, about an hour away, and ive told him everything about me. and what i want from this. To learn explore and find out how far i can go with sex, and torment..Hes 42, im 41. divorced like me, and has two kids like me. Hes very much into the sexual denial part of the life , but he enjoys the pain as well.. hes been slow to show me. but as a good slave i must be patient. Hes slow to show me the pain part...and i find im having withdrawls from my old master, as he thrived off pain...but i will hold on as hes touched base a bit as weve fucked..slapping of the titties, ass and body parts. Choking,and some light whipping with my flogger. But sexually hes shown me more...
Hes mexican/italian, and gorgeous!!! Very intelligent, and very sweet. His cock is huge!!! LOL and at first i couldnt take him anally, but we both wanted that so with practice(butt plug) and larger vibes, ive obtained it!!! which is something ive wanted again...YES!!!! Been a very long time since ive had it up the ass till now..But he has gotten me to do two things ive never thought i could do. He fisted me...which feels amazing!!! and he got me to squirt!!!! Another amazing rush!!!! As we communicate, we get closer..and it just gets better!!! how i have no idea but im not gonna argue!!! lol

4. The weight loss has plateaued...still at the 100 lb mark,(gained 5 over the holidays, moms cooking) so now im going to see about a tummy tuck, and what i can do, and what i cant. what the nurse told me, the insurance i carry covers it with some inclusions, i need to be at 100 mark, got that..and to have seen a dr. for over a year, got that. But i need to show reason for it...either skin problems around the area, ( dont have that) or back problems, GOT THAT!! But i neve bitched about it, so i need to talk to my dr. and see if he can write me a letter confirming my pain...hehehehehe....and if all looks good i might not have to shell out the possible $5000-$8000 bill!!!! and being broke, that would stop me dead.

So with that, i think ive covered everything...kids are good, going thru the flu...but other than that...its all good.

im glad im back, ive missed all you naughty friends!!!! xoxoxoxoxox enjoy all you touch!!!

the new master episodes will continue as he progresses over me!!! hehehehehehehehe

Love ya!!!!

:: +Memory :: Share :: 12 replies :: Reply

Title:	what kind of sex toy are you????
Date:	2008-10-13 @ 18:22
Security:	public
Music:	TLC
Mood:	ecstatic

Your result for The WHAT KIND OF SEX TOY ARE YOU Test...

Whips and Chains!!

Ohhhh Yeah!!! Right There! Faster!You scored ###%

We see you up there swinging on that sex chair!! With your leather mask and leather chaps!! Whip me harder and harder!! although you may be more hard core than most, you are still enjoying sex and pleasure all the same! and that is what it is all about!! Make sure you or your partner don't end up in the hospital though! Ouch!

Take The WHAT KIND OF SEX TOY ARE YOU Test at HelloQuizzy

:: +Memory :: Share :: 2 replies :: Reply